We were created to be full

In the last 2 months, I have had the privilege of working through the Beth Moore study, "The Beloved Disciple," an exploration of John. The scripture we have studied and her teaching along side of it have made for a very rich and revitalizing experience. I am very grateful for getting to participate in this with the other women in the study, which adds another level of meaning for me.

What has touched my heart most deeply in this journey so far is a renewed and authentic interaction with Jesus that I have avoided for quite some time. There are so many things that He has begun to stir in my heart, images and ideas that I have known in my head for so long but I feel that I am starting to experience in my heart. One of these ideas concerns His fullness. I feel the need to process through this idea and share the picture in my head.

When I think about being filled with the Holy Spirit or experiencing God's fullness, I only see my physical body being filled. Imagine that for a second : a pitcher of water being poured into you until you are full. Does anyone else see this image too when thinking about these things? This is how I have always imagined it. Now, various questions have started to confront me when I see this image while thinking of being full. How much would fill a person? The Math Teacher in me wants to know my volume. Then I want to know what does that amount to, what can you do with it? What can't you do with it? I did a little research and found vague and complicated answers. So I'm going to just guesstimate a little. I'm going to make myself an easy shape that will make the results a bit higher than reality but will be easier. So let's say I'm a purple cylinder. I am going to assume most of you don't want to see the math, so I'll skip it and just say that my volume would be about (on the high side) 50.5 gallons. Now to make this a little more realistic I'm going to shave a little off of that number because I used my hips as the diameter of this thing...so I'm going to say more like 40 gallons.


With 40 gallons you can:

• wash a load of laundry
• take a kid sized bath
• take a 10 minute shower as long as your have a low pressure shower head
• fill a medium sized fish tank
• water your yard at a low stream for 40 minutes
• provide water for a family of 4 for 10 days if everyone drinks 1 gallon per day
• Drive from Tucson to Phoenix and back, then sit in traffic to get across town

Is that all I think Jesus is good for?! I only experience enough of him to do laundry, dishes, bathe myself...not even all of those things at once or in one day! We all experience emptiness, and as a Christian I try to look to Jesus to fill that. Beth Moore pointed out something I feel I have often fallen into, "Far too many people think that the good Christian thing to do about our gnawing emptiness is to get a grip, stop whining, and live without for the rest of our lives." I feel like I have been living on so very little of Jesus, only allowing as much as I can imagine, leaving me to feel dry and like a hungry, spiritually deprived child. I am so glad to be discovering that He has so much more to pour into me! I don't have to live on just a little bit of Jesus and the Holy Spirit every now and then, I am meant to FEAST! I was created to be full!

"that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us," Ephesians 3:18-20

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." John 1:16

How much am I willing to believe that the creator of the universe is willing to fill me? How full do I believe He is? Can I really have SO much more?

Thank you for letting me process. I love you friends

Visiting the Ol' San Franny

It was so foggy driving in to San Francisco that we could barely see 20 feet in front of us. Luckily on our way out of town, we were able to snap this shot of the bottom half of the Golden Gate Bridge. What an amazing sight!

Phil had last Friday and Monday off for Labor Day so we took the opportunity to go visit Maya (sister) who lives just north of San Fran. I hadn't ever spent a lot of time exploring the city so she graciously took us to all of the major tourist spots that we hadn't been to.

 Before we even got to the city, we stopped at an old military fort that now left in ruins. The dense fog made the foresty ruins spooky and entrancing. There were tons of tunnels, bunkers, pits where HUGE guns used to go, and graffiti to explore. Phil, being the man he is, found a ladder leading underground that you aren't supposed to use (indicated by the thick slab of concrete that used to cover the entrance until it cracked) and of course explored the inside. He found a room full of water and mold, fortunately no vipers or ghosts or whatever else...This was a fun pit stop that unfortunately soiled Phil's only pair of shorts with mud before we even made it into the city. So first stop in the actually city was the shopping center!

 After some successful shopping, we set out for Chinatown. This was super cool for me because I have always heard so much about it and to see it up close was really fun. After Chinatown, we took a TRILLION steps up to Coit Tower which gave us a breathtaking view of the city. From there, we wander and explored, had some tasty pizza, then walked back to the car to go home. It was a wonderful trip!

Gate of Chinatown

Everywhere I turned in this store I saw something I wanted to get for someone back home...particularly my sister. A trip back will be in order before Christmas, birthdays and weddings :-)

HA! We almost got in trouble for this picture. So worth it though.

Back from a dry spell...

This last month has been up and down. Both the ups and the downs made blogging less appealing but here I am hopefully renewed! I miss everyone in Tucson but I am learning to enjoy and appreciate Monterey. Here's a quick summary of the more exciting activities that I have found to keep myself busy and engaged:

• I have continued running with new vigor. Today I ran 3 miles straight for the first time and finished in 28 minutes! I already have my 4 mile route planned for tomorrow. God is calling me to make working out a worshipful experience instead of purely competitive or for weight loss. I am enjoying exploring this new form of worship...even when I can't breath. I've also got a running buddy on Sundays who motivates me to keep going throughout the week...though she doesn't know that yet.
• I am involved in a Beth Moore study, "The Beloved Disciple," with mostly other military wives. It is a study on the Disciple John and we're only on week 1 but I am already totally digging it :-) Already God is showing me images of Jesus through John's eyes that make him more real. She asked us to describe how Jesus might have appeared to the disciples after the first few days with him and the word that came to me that was most meaningful was "touchable." It has been a while since I have really been able to think of Jesus as a real man and someone that isn't far away. 
• This Thursday will be my first day as a volunteer at Compassion Pregnancy Center . It is a faith based organization that provides counseling and clinical services to women that are pregnant or that have had abortions. There are a number of possibilities for me here including office lacky, counselor, and speaker at the local high schools. I may not be able to actually counsel or speak while I'm here but I'm hoping to get the training. I am unsure of God's plan here but I am really excited about being involved!

And to finish it off, I have some more pictures to showcase the beauty of Monterey...from the only sunny day in weeks! Just kidding but only sort of.

And the most beautiful of all.....

 

ME IN A WETSUIT! hahahaha

I miss you friends!